Past relationship history is key to understanding their behaviors, as is the way they talk about past partners.
If everyone in their past was 'crazy,' that is a huge red flag. If the date says one thing and does another, look deep into yourself and tell yourself it will only get worse and walk away.
When we imagine someone trying to cut their partner off from their support system, we usually picture something dramatic, like the villainous husband in a made-for-TV movie telling his wife that she'll never talk to her best friend again.
But in real life, controlling partners usually isolate you from your community in a much more subtle way.
However, we are responsible for how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us. Take an inventory of the top negative beliefs that you have on repeat in your mind.
Then re-write these beliefs in a positive way and create a plan to act on them. When we do this, we go from waiting for change to happen to starting with ourselves, because that’s where any real change can ever take place.
New belief: I am good enough, and happiness is my birthright. We’ve all had experiences where the same thing keeps happening over and over with different people and situations. Now I see I wasn’t comfortable with someone treating me kindly and with respect.
After flipping your negative belief, say the new belief with emotion, and write it down and display it in places where you’ll see it regularly. That’s a message that something needs to be done on part. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to receive this kind of love because I couldn’t give it to myself.
In most cases, it's all about control and taking away your independence." Being controlled or belittled by a partner can do lasting damage to our self-esteem, make us fearful about entering future relationships, and leave us with a wide variety of other emotional wounds that we shouldn't have to deal with.
So while you may be more familiar with the most common signs of an abusive relationship, like a partner who forces you to dress in a certain way or forbids you from interacting with family or friends, there are other signs that your relationship is controlling, manipulative, or unhealthily obsessive.